Making tough choices as a mom

1. Overthinking vs Analyzing

There are two different approaches to thinking about the decisions you’ll be making. Let’s start with the productive one: analyzing. This is when you actively look for the pros and cons of taking the jump, and for instance, quit your job… In this part of the decision-making process, you’re rationally thinking about the impact that this choice could make in your life, whether it is good, bad or a balance in between. Here’s where you should focus your efforts to make an unbiased choice that will truly get you closer to the person you want to be, and how you want your life to be.

And the negative approach for thinking about a determined situation is overthinking it, this is when you passively let your mind wander around that thing you’re about to do (or not). Overthinking without setting up straightforward and realistic facts can lead to a spiral of worries that will make you anxious through the whole process of decision making, so when you find yourself overthinking, try to actively stop and turn those thoughts into rational arguments for or against the decision you’ll make.

And overthinking is not only when you think about how this could go wrong, it’s also daydreaming about this fantastic outcome without taking the steps needed to make it happen. This is a form of procrastination and in the end self-sabotage.

2. Think about the big picture

It is so easy to feel overwhelmed when you only think about the first few weeks, months, or even years (depending on the size of the decision you’re making) we as humans are averse to changes, and the first steps could be scary, you might feel the urge to go back at some point, but once is done, you will figure out the best way to continue on the path you chose.

It’s important that every decision you make as an adult sums up to the person you want to be in the future, even if it is in a small way. Make sure to have a plan to follow and a contingency strategy just in case something goes wrong.

3. Have confidence in yourself

You can do anything you put your mind and efforts on, there’s always a way. And if you don’t feel confident enough remember the moments when you’ve done amazing things that you didn’t think were possible for you, remember the mindset you had to achieve them, and how good it felt when you got to finish it.

This exercise reinforces your self-esteem, when you believe in yourself amazing things start to happen, give a call to those people who always support you, parents, good friends, and take all that good energy as a kickstart; only you know when you’ll be ready to take that big step, trust your gut!

4. You can always help your kids adapt

Changes are not easy for kids, they feel safe when they recognize a routine, the people around them, and they can predict what will happen next. But life isn’t always a flat line, and whether it is moving to another country, getting a new family member, or as simple as mommy changing her job and schedule you can always help them deal with the stress any of these situations can put on them.

Be open with them, talk about your plans, ask their opinion, make them feel that they are part of the decision-making process, and not just being pulled around “because I’m the adult and that’s just how things are”. Explain in the simplest way the reason why these changes are being made and how they will improve your life as a family in the future.

Depending on their age, children can get clingy to their caregivers when they experiment with big changes in their lives, they might seek attention, and you will have to help them through this, be there for them, and make them feel safe.

5. Remember that a happy mom raises happy kids

Do yourself a favor and follow your heart, trust your instincts, do what makes you happy, even if the change feels like jumping off a cliff. Once you get into action everything will start to click and get into place. Don’t ever put your kids as an excuse to stay at a dreadful job, relationship, or any situation that makes you feel unhappy.

Your kids can adapt to changes, but the impact of being raised by an unhappy or frustrated mom can leave sequels on them for life. Start a new page, make your kids a motivation to become the best version of yourself. Whatever it is you’re about to do, jump in, they’ll follow along, if you’re happy, they will be happy too.

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